Employee walks out of performance review after being told they don't respond well to feedback, internet is divided: 'I was stunned…'

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    Employee walked out of performance review Had a pretty difficult performance review discussion with one of my employees. Ended with him walking out mid review. We are a large firm and historically nobody gets bad news about their performance until it's too late. Recently it's changing and now we are required to give people below average ratings.
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    One of my employees has been struggling with being attentive to critical details and taking in directions, especially compared to his peers. Despite being the highest seniority member of my team, he often ignores my messages, pushing back on every assignment and just wanted to do what he wanted, any time he wanted. Including working 6 hours a day. For things he's not caring about, I often did the work myself or found someone to fill in.
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    I've been pretty direct with him all year, asking him to stay focused. Perhaps I could've been more so... now with actual scores in front of him, he flipped out. Said I'm being unfair and that he did everything on his objectives. While I felt we got things done because I had to chase him or did them myself. Sure he contributed to things, but not to par with his peers.
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    While I was explaining my reasons and examples, he stood up and said this is bullshit and walked out. I was stunned... I want to give him a chance to correct it. But at the same time I feel like being soft is what led us here in the first place. What would you do?
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    Prestigious-Tap9674 23 hr. ago Despite being the highest ranking member What makes him the highest- ranking member? Been there the longest? Has the most experience? Solves the most problems? How is he highest ranking if he doesn't keep up with his peers? Victory-laps OP. 23 hr. ago He's on the highest paid tier for IC. Been there the longest. Has the most experience. Paid the most.
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    Motor_Badger5407 · 23 hr. ago Seasoned Manager PIP him and move on - you cannot really redeem an employee that is not open to feedback. Sounds like you tried throughout the year to correct his performance, so now it's time to formalize a plan and document progress.
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    RoughGears 787 - 22 hr. ago Inability to take feedback is the worst career killer I know of, and the ability to constantly receive and act on feedback is an amazing career booster. Wish ppl had told me this earlier.
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    AnimusFlux - 23 hr. ago One of my employees has been struggling with being attentive to critical details and taking in directions Yeah, he failed to take in directions... while you were giving him negative feedback about him not being able to take in directions. Unless he comes to you tomorrow to apologize and shows up with an entirely new attitude, I don't think there's anything you can do to save him at this point. Time for a PIP.
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    Hold him to task and don't take his shit in the meantime. Let him fail next time unless it'll cost a fortune or someone will get hurt as a result. Stop saving him. And let him know that while he's on a PIP, he no longer gets his first choice of assignments and time off. Entitlement is one of the little deaths that kills team cohesion. The rest of your team will respect you for it.
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    Victory-laps OP. 22 hr. ago This is what I think right now. He proved me right about his attitude issue. Yes I have so many things I can personally do better as a manager, but isn't he out of line?
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    dietcokehead007 23 hr. ago Assistant manager here but I just can't get over being required to give people below average ratings. Do you want them to work there or not?
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    Victory-laps OP. 23 hr. ago Yeah really stupid rule the corporate introduced. It's the jack welsh school of business stuff.. I can't control it. However, I would've ranked him below average. In fact I did it before being told to rank someone low by requirement.
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    Sweet Misery2790 15 hr. ago Wow is the so backwards. I probably would have walked out too. Telling people to "stay focused" is miles away from direct.
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    Being direct is -"hey, when I don't receive a response to my messages in X time, it makes me feel like you're unreliable. Can you work on being more timely in your responses?" "hey, the work day here is 8 hours. It looks like you haven't been present for that time consistently, can you work on that?" -"hey, while it's ok to voice your thoughts,
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    ultimately there's a point where you need to do that's assigned. Going forward, you need to do the work assignments I give you and not simply refuse them. So many people assume that if no one told them, there was nothing wrong. Then you came and blindsided him during an annual review.
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    Open-Leadership3499 14 hr. ago Geeez. Neither of you come off well here. →. A performance review should be about strengths and weaknesses - not an opportunity to unleash deep- seated frustrations on a team member.
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    The fact that you've been. directed to purposefully undervalue your team, is frankly an astonishing way for a company to treat their biggest asset. Whatever direction has come from corporate - a good manager will deliver on strategic policy whilst getting the best out of your team. Hand on heart - can you say you've done this?
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    There's not enough mention here about your own management style, but it reads to me like you're micromanaging a very experienced member of staff. If he's consistently pushing back on requests that are beneath his ability - perhaps he has a point. It's a waste of money to get your most experienced team members to do meaningless tasks and does nothing for productivity,
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    moral, or even getting the job done. You've said in the comments that you purposefully overlook his significant experience for tasks he can do, because of his inability to submit to your management techniques. Is this actually about his work? Or is there a personality clash between you in the mix here? A performance review isn't an opportunity to unleash your frustrations on a team member who has been consistently communicating
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    that the work you are demanding from him isn't a valuable use of either of your time. Managing him into submission isn't effective. I'm not surprised he walked out, I would too. It's better to walk away and talk calmly later. You both have responsibility here. A difficult conversation with a colleague should never escalate to one of them storming out. If a meeting is getting so heated that a colleague walks out - it's not a productive use of a 1:1
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    If that was me, I would have tried to de-escalate the situation, given the team member time to think about the discussion, and pick it up again in a few days with a structured conversation - including agenda points shared in advance, and a conscious effort for active listening.
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    Tips for handling sensitive conversations : • Focus on the person, not the problem. What is causing these performance issues, are there any workplace adjustments you could put in place to get more out of this team member, does he have too much on his plate that more junior team members could be mentored into taking on?
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    • Ask open questions and give him time to answer. • Agree a plan of action. and schedule a follow up. You might not reach this right away, you need to open up this conversation, not close it down. • Reassure them that as their manager, you are there for them, and that you're there to help get the best out of them.
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    Leaders set the tone and direction of an organisation. It's on you to support your employees through change, and communicate a clear vision for the future. It sounds like none of this happened here. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already polishing his CV.
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    • Kellymelbourne · 23 hr. ago You say you've been direct with him all year, however your retelling makes it sound like he was surprised by his review. Have you really been. giving him this direct feedback and holding him. accountable all year? I am willing to bet the answer is no. Which isn't really fair.

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